Love Never Fails

It’s been a while since I’ve written one of these things. A lot has happened and I’ve learned a ton through all of it. I learned not to take life for granted - yours or anyone else’s. Life is short. You are not promised that you will live through tomorrow. Laugh a lot. Take pictures all the time. Enjoy the time you have with those you love. Embrace challenge and change. Don’t run from your fears; face them. Hug often. Love everyone. As hard as it is, when you love them, tell them. You never know when someone will be taken from you. Sometimes we think, “They still have so long to live; they’re so young.” But that’s not always the case. A lot of people are using “YOLO” to go out and get wasted. But, “YOLO” is true. You have one life to live, so make it worthwhile. Don’t go out and do stupid things; make a name for yourself – a good name. Don’t be afraid to dream – and dream big – bigger than ever before. Sing your way through the hard times and dance your way through the harder ones.

I can’t tell you why bad things happen to good people. But I can tell you that my God has a reason for all of it. I don’t know why people have to suffer before they leave this earth rather than just leaving in peace. I don’t know why sometimes things seem to look up and then drastically fall downhill. All I know is that there is a Creator who took the time to give you life. So live it to the fullest and don’t be afraid to fall. Get back up; and keep on living.

“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever” -Winnie the Pooh.

A Random Thought

I don't know why things happen, but I know they happen for a reason. I don't understand everything that happens, but I know there is a reason for these situations. I don't know why bad things happen to good people or why people's lives are taken at young ages, but what I do know is that everything has a reason. A friend of mine recently said, "It's all for a purpose." So if you're hurting, mourning or broken, it's all for a purpose. There's a reason for everything - though we may never know the reason.

Take It As You Will

Your past is your past so leave it behind you.
You don't have to beat yourself up; Jesus was beat for you.
You don't have to cut yourself because you can't stand who you were or are or what you've done or what you're doing; Jesus was cut for you.
You don't have to look in the mirror and feel guilty; Jesus felt your guilt.
You don't have to cry yourself to sleep night after night because of your imperfections; Jesus wept.
You don't have to be ashamed of yourself; Jesus is never ashamed of you.
You don't have to be trapped in your past; Jesus isn't trapped in the grave.

Thoughts

Often times as the year draws to an end, I reflect. Why should this year be any different? People often ask what the most memorable part of my year was, or “What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned this year?” I can’t answer either of those questions because my year has been eventful, frightening, thrilling, at points, terrifying, but yet inspiring. I’ve had complete break downs (meaning I cried) for reasons I don’t even understand. I’ve been in the ER a few times. I’ve pulled an all nighter (worst idea ever). I’ve seen people set free from addictions. I got the world’s greatest and sweetest boss. I’ve had some of the best times with my best friends. I’ve grown (as a person, not in height).

I do know that I’ve learned to love. I’ve learned to love beyond where I believe someone deserves it. Why? Because that’s what Christ did for me. I didn’t deserve love or grace or affection, but He gave it to me anyways. Along with love, comes compassion. I may joke about hating people, but the love I have for others is far greater than it was last year. I’ve learned that just because a woman isn’t dressed in the most appropriate manner, doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve love. If anything, she needs more love than the women who know their worth is far greater than their bodies. After all, who am I to judge? If Jesus died for me; to take my judgment upon Himself – His perfect self – who am I and what gives me the right to judge others? If I can’t look at someone without picking apart every imperfection they might have, it’s time to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. What do I hate so much about myself that I have to cover amongst others’ imperfections? Judging someone might give temporary satisfaction, but once I think about what I’ve thought and said about someone else, it’s easy to realize I’m finding my imperfections in them. But, then I realize, who am I to judge myself? If God says it’s His right to judge, then why should I even judge myself? Who am I to look in the mirror and tell myself I am a failure. I am worthless. In God’s eyes, I have worth. I succeed. I am loved. Love is kind. Therefore, God is kind. I want to have the heart of God, so I need to be kind. I need to show love. Loving isn’t easy. It’s not all it’s made up to be. You don’t “fall in love”. You choose to love. You stumble upon it and choose whether to continue loving or “fall out of it”. When someone hurts you over and over and over again, think of Jesus. Men punched Him and beat Him and whipped Him over and over and over again. But, yet, He still loved them. Not only did He love them, but He forgave them and gave up His own beautiful, perfect life for them. You can say you love and forgive someone all you want, but forgiving is difficult. It’s not easy to forgive when you’ve been hurt, but that’s a part of love. Jesus doesn’t only love us when we’re perfect so why should we show we care only when someone is being “good” or sober or nice? Jesus didn’t hang out with “church people”. He hung out with prostitutes, drug addicts, gang members, and thieves. He hung out with convicts. So, if I want to be like Jesus, why should I be afraid to? Why should I fear what might happen rather than show unconditional love? Love with limits isn’t love. Love beyond the fear of being hurt… Again, and you will experience the greatest love of all.

I’ve learned to trust. I’ve learned that not all guys, surprisingly, are bad. There are some good guys out there. Which, to be honest, completely shocked me. I didn’t think a guy would ever respect me, but I was proven wrong. And I’m glad I was. I never thought I’d be able to talk to a guy without worrying that he’s just like every other guy I’ve met. Or be able to trust him. To those of you who have helped me realize that you’re not all bad, thank you.

I’ve learned that no one is perfect and things aren’t always as they seem. No matter how flawless and beautiful another girl may seem, she has problems she’s trying to work through, too. I’m not the only with problems – or imperfections. But I am one of the few who knows the only One who can take care of them.

I’ve learned that those you love can be taken away. So tell them you care when you can. Whether or not they say it back, at least you won’t live with regrets. Savor the moments you spend with those you care about because you never know when the next time will be. I’ve seen so many people I love this year have their lives almost come to an end. Thank God, He has bigger plans for us than we have for ourselves.

I’ve learned that your words speak loud, but your actions scream louder.

I’ve learned hope and help are real. Rescue is possible. Sobriety isn’t easy, but God will help you through if you just ask Him. Your worth is far greater than you could ever imagine. God has big plans, you just have to make yourself the available vessel for Him to use.

Your mind is a dangerous thing to pollute;
Once it's there, it's everywhere.
You can't escape it.
When you fall into the trap, it'll call you back;
Tell you there's nothing that you lack.
But deep down you know it's not right.
You wonder and cry when no one's in sight.
"How did it get to this?"
It's diss after diss.
"I can't be this person anymore!"
It's your heart that's starting to feel sore.
It started in your mind.
Now it's in your heart, you find.
All of a sudden the things you think are the things you say.
Are you starting to find "your own way"?
Don't you know that's just like everyone else?
Now, it's hard to breathe.
The doctor, it is time to see.
"I have some bad news to tell you.
What I say, I wish it wasn't true.
You're a rare case.
A peculiar race.
You see, some people can keep it in their head,
But you are a case we dread.
Some even keep it in their heart,
But you play a different part.
You let it slide into your words.
You let it really hurt.
I'm sorry to tell you,
But you don't have long to live.
Better call the family and tell them what you can give."
"Wait. Why can't I live?!
Isn't there something YOU can give?"
"I can cut out your tongue, for it has the power of life and death.
It was more brutal than meth.
It didn't just destroy you,
But others, too.
Remember that girl you called fat?
Right next to you she sat.
She's in ICU.
She's dying, too."
Everything starts to blur.
"Are you sure I have no cure?"
"I can cut out your tongue,
But the damage is already done.
It might buy you a day or two,
But I think it's too late for you.
Oh, we found another issue,
For this, you might need a tissue.
Remember that friend who hurt you?
There were only a few.
Well, we found it festering in your heart.
I guess you two just grew apart.
I'm sorry to say,
But we can only give you a few more days.
I hope you made peace with everyone
Because now your life is done."

Worth It

I have a few thoughts tonight that have been on my mind the past couple days. First, suicide. I know that it’s a tough place to be in, seeing as how I’ve been there myself. I know that’s it’s a downward cycle and pulls you fast. You’re on the verge of death before you can even stop and catch your breath and realize what’s happening. I get that. I’m not gonna tell you I know how you feel because you and I process things differently. But I do remember being in the place of “Forget everything. Forget life. Forget you. Forget myself. Let’s end it.” And not even realizing that I was in that place until I got out. But I want you to know that your life has so much more worth than that. I know a lot of people say it and may not mean it, but I do. You are forgiven – no matter what you’ve done. You are loved. You are worth it. You are worth everything. You are worth life itself. I know I talk about Jesus a lot, but I promise you that that’s the only One who got me through. Without Him, I would be dead by now. I promise. He gave up His life so that you could have life. He died so you didn’t have to. You are loved. 

The second thing I have to say is, “Girls, cover up!” Seriously. What’s the problem here? Is it so hard to be modest? Is it so hard to realize that you have worth beyond your bodies? Again, I know what it feels like to think that all you’re worth is what you look like and how other people view you. Again, I was wrong. And if you think that, you’re wrong. There are people that that is all they care about. But, you have worth. You have meaning. You are more than your body. While I know that some people – low people - will tell you you’re worth your looks, and not anything else. I can promise you it’s not true. Cover up. When your future husband comes walking around, do you want him to know that you don’t care who sees you? Do you want him to think that you don’t find yourself valuable? I doubt it. So, cover up.

Guys, same to you! Pull your pants up. I can tell you that, as a girl, I love when guys are modest. I love when guys aren’t conceited when they look good, but are confident, again, knowing they have worth.

So as I’m writing this, two songs comes to mind. Dirty and Left Out by The Almost and Amazing Because It Is by The Almost. Here are the links to them and I suggest you have some tissues ready cuz if you’re anything like my best friend or me, you’ll cry your eyes out.

Amazing Because It Is and Dirty and Left Out

All Your Perfection, All Your Imperfection.

My most used key on my phone and laptop, is the the backspace one. One night I thought, I like when other people make typos; it reminds me I'm not the only one who's imperfect. Then I realize: my imperfections make me. If someone doesn't like me, because I'm not the "perfect friend" or a guy doesn't like me because I don't look the way he wants, and am, therefore, imperfect, I don't worry. I don't care. If I bomb a test, I realize that doesn't make me stupid. It simply means I'm not perfect.When a guy would rather talk to a girl with a "hot bod", I'm okay with that, because that one has nothing to do with me. He's just shallow. My imperfections are me. I've learned recently that I don't need to freak out when my plans don't fall into place like I think they should, because my God is a heck of a lot smarter than me. Growing up, I was told, "You'd be so hot if you did this," "You'd be the prettiest girl ever if you did that." After much searching, finally God revealed to me, and I realized, I don't have to be anyone, but me. When someone comes along and is willing to love me with my imperfections, rather than despite them, I'll know he's worth my breath. Until then, I'll spend my time waiting... And being the imperfect girl I am.